When the moment comes when you recognise that you can no longer fight a problem and need to find a professional to help you, you need to realise what you are looking for.
Trustfull and dedicated psychotherapist
The first of all, of course, you must trust your psychotherapist, psychologist, a psychiatrist. This has to be the person to whom you can discover whatever is upsetting you, and perhaps even some of your long-repressed sorrow. Next, but not least, you need to feel that this professional is sincerely committed to working with you. If he or she has been answering the telephone or even chatting for a while during your session, this may not be the person whose engagement can be talked about. The third, also very significant, is that your therapist encourages you to be independent, not addicted to himself and his help and guidance.
Good psychotherapist gives you the merit
The therapist who would not be good for you is the one who would imply that he is the one helping you, that improvement is his merit, which you would not accomplish without him, etc. A therapist who is genuinely interested in your well-being liberates you from day one, gives you credit for every improvement, and does not make you addicted to him. After the therapy, you are prepared to deal with the obstacles yourself, because you have gained the skills and techniques to overcome the problems. The fourth characteristic of a good therapist is that he listens to you and does not denounce you, he does not blame you but tries to understand circumstances from your viewpoint.
Self-aware and dedicated psychotherapist
Moreover, an expert therapist, psychologist, a psychiatrist is always getting educated, during his entire life no matter how much knowledge he has. He does not believe that he knows everything but on the contrary – that there is much more to learn to improve his work. Only people who are not skilled fairly think they know everything. Accordingly, a non-professional person thinks that he or she can and does everything and is capable of everything – and the reality is the opposite. An expert in a particular field is narrowly specialized.
Empathy as a virtue, not a fault
Despite the myth that real experts are not touched by the problems he listens to daily because he is a “professional”, this can by no means be true because to be good at helping professions, you must be empathetic. Finally, I would like to say that if you can go into therapy, it is a good idea to check what type of therapy would be appropriate for your problem, which type of therapy is most effective because it affects the outcome of the therapy. What characteristics do you expect from a therapist? What characteristics put you off a therapist?